Feeling cynical about gratitude? Here’s how to get over it.

(Photo by Simon Maage on Unsplash)

It’s that gratitude time of year.

You know what I’m talking about, right? That time of the year, as we edge closer to New Year’s, when End of Year Gratitude Lists start showing up in blog posts and on our social media news feeds. When it feels like nearly every friend on Facebook has #blessings to share. Not to mention those thinly veiled “humble brags.”

Sometimes those gratitude lists can seem like just another way to win the “best life competition,” or a way to pretend that everything’s fine and dandy in our lives, and our families and in our world. When it really isn’t.

Gratitude also sometimes seems like it has become just another way to sell us stuff. There are leather-bound gratitude journals for sale starting at $20 on Amazon. There are gratitude apps on iTunes that promise if you write 5 things you’re grateful for every day you’ll be happier. And to help you believe that, the app includes photos of cute puppies and kittens and babies. There are gratitude training workshops where you can drop a bundle to experience “amazing, life-changing results”….i.e you’ll be happier, healthier, even wealthier. Uh-huh…

It always makes me wonder, is there anything good about gratitude and those “I’m so grateful for (fill in the blanks) this year” lists everyone seems to be working on?

When gratitude is used as a way to dig deeper into denial or to pump ourselves up, I don’t think so.

Yet there are several scientific studies that tell us that gratitude is good for us.

Many people in recovery will testify to the power of gratitude in keeping them sober and sane.

And in our society, built around scarcity, which seems to be constantly telling us we don’t have enough, being grateful for what we have can be downright subversive. As Joanna Macy, author and Eco-philosopher has said: “Gratitude is liberating. It is subversive. It helps us to realize that we are sufficient and that realization frees us.”

So gratitude can be good.

But maybe, it’s only truly good if it leads to action. To some sort of change in our behavior.

At least that’s what I’m coming to believe.

Have you ever looked up the definition of gratitude: Here it is:

“The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to

return kindness.”

The “readiness to return kindness” portion of that definition is something I

believe we too often overlook. So what if this year, as we write out our

gratitude lists, we tried to pair each bit of thankfulness with a

corresponding action? Something we actually do to add more kindness

back into the world.

For example:

I’m grateful for my body - so I will do something to take care of it today.

I’m grateful for my family - so I will be a loving presence in my family and try do something kind for someone else’s family.

I’m grateful for a roof over my head and food to eat, so I will give to organizations that help those who don’t have those things.

I’m grateful for this wonderful meal, so I will treat the waiter or waitress with great respect and warmth and tip generously.

So, going into 2018, I’m going to try to leave some of my cynicism about gratitude behind, and I’m going to try to see it and practice it in a new way. Gratitude as an action. Gratitude as a verb. Maybe you’d like to join me. If you do, I’d love to hear how it goes for you.

And speaking of gratitude… thanks for reading.

And best wishes for the New Year.

#gratitude #newyearsresolutions #lifeadvice #wellness #lifestyle